Caffeene Adiction

Real coffee comes back to Melbourne.. I was bemoaning the fact that franchises are taking over and coffee is becoming a flat bland frapachino affair.
I was about 2 Starbucks and a Gloria Geans away from topping my self when i stumbled upon this unassuming yet tasteful caffeine dealing hole in the wall.

With limited space you be rubbing shoulders with all walks of life from the bottom feeding student to double parked Mercedes driving socialites. It is not uncommon to bump into quite a number of regulars as this is a place that does not disappoint.
To enjoy on premise there is of course the coffee, a range of teas, organic juices and soft drinks. As well as a tempting verity of pastries (the almond croissants and the cherry danish top the list for me).

If you like it hot at home, you can purchase one of their many special blends that are ground and vacuum packed while you wait. I highly recommend Blend X, a smooth, robust flavor with a spike in its tail.

When purchasing coffee at around 9am on a weekday there may be a delay due to its popularity Vs size.

Hot drinks, cool surrounds

First thing that strikes about this place is the decor and layout, it is akin to an opium den from a spy movie, the chairs and the lattice work are awesome and if I was more of a kleptomaniac I would have taken them home.
The cocktail list is extensive and creative, my favorite being the vodka and chili based Phoenix Claw.
The Asian Tapas is first rate but comes with a first class price tag - I recommend the Shanghai basket.
The floor staff are attentive and inviting, but on a busy night can take some prompting, though this is not taken badly.
Golden Monkey is so eager to please that they are not above playing a bit of BonJovi for the after work set - avoid at all costs - as the ID wearing stuffed shirts are more than happy to sing along!

Better off in China Town

Last night I joined in with a group of friends to celebrate a 30th birthday in a reserved room with a $32 banquet.
"Banquet" was far from an appropriate description, first there were only 2 courses, the entree resembled reheated discount safeway bulk pack nibblies, which were being passed off as Asian tapas (a sliver of deep fried fish, 1 wanton and some kind of corn dog thing) served with tartar sauce!
The "main" consisted 4 small bowls of lack-luster sth east Asian "cuisine", with a smigin of dry rice that was to be shared between 6-8 people per table. Since no indication was given by the staff on how many plates to expect, the lucky ones at the head of the table had ample and the last had virtually none.
When the cake was brought out one of the guests had to intercept the waiter and stop him from quietly cutting and serving the cake without the least bit of ceremony.
Lastly, and most importantly, the beer was pulled so horrendously that at first first more than 50% of my glass was head.. on request to rectify this I was looked upon with disdain.

This is yet another crappy experiment in "aussie-asian" fusion, half the food at four times the price and at a lesser quality than you could get at any of the MANY authentic Asian establishments in the city.